I never would have thought

I never would have thought that at 26 years old I would still be a college student...a full time college student nonetheless! It's easy to point out the fact that I should have completed RN schooling before now. It's harder to remember that along the way I have also become a wife of 7 years and a mom to my beautiful 5 year old son; both milestones which were much more important than school. I have worked very hard to get through school and to be able to have a life for us on the side as well. If I wouldn't have worked in addition to going to school...I would have likely been done sooner but we may not have many of the blessings that we do have such as our beautiful home my husband built for our family. I also would have be graduating with more debt if I had worked less and finished school sooner. It feels like I have taken the long route to get to where I am at but I am glad that I did. I feel very stressed right now with my RN boards right around the corner and overwhelmed being in my first semester of the BSN program currently...there is so much going on in life right now that I have to remind myself to slow down and enjoy what really matters in this life.

The day Stetson entered our lives our world changed immensely. I knew we would love that little bundle of joy growing inside my belly but I had never imagined just how profound that love would be. I never would have thought that 5 years later he would still be an only child. It's easy to see what others have in life and to feel the void of what you don't or can't have but that's not the point of this life. I don't know when we will be able to add to our family but I know that one day we will and that it will happen when it's meant to happen. The Man upstairs is far wiser than us and will bless us with a new addition when the time is right.

Sometimes I wonder when Stetson will ask questions about why he is so much older than his siblings, but who knows? I am the baby in my family with the next sibling being 7 years older than me and I turned out okay. Maybe 7 will be our lucky number too (though hopefully not!). I know that regardless of the age gap, Stets came into our lives when he was meant to. He is such a big help to me and such a sweet spirit! I couldn't ask for a better kid to have! He tells me how beautiful I am almost daily, and though he doesn't cuddle for long periods of time, he is always eager to give out his hugs and kisses to his parents as needed. He asks us daily when he will have a little brother, AND a little sister, AND a baby to play with too. Maybe it's his imagination running wild...but I like to think it's his childlike innocence and ability to sense what's beyond the veil to keep us focused on what's really important in this life. "We May Not Have It All Together but Together We Have It All".



PS-Being irritable, moody, breaking out in acne, retaining water, getting nauseated and vomiting are much more tolerable when you have a baby to show for it. It's not so much fun when it's been coming from Clomid for the past four months! The things we do to bring children into this world...definitely not easy...but so totally worth it.